Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.
~Jackson Brown, Jr.~
Marriage is: OK so this is the deep and meaningful bit. Fast forward to the fourth paragraph if you want to skip right past it…
Here it goes. This is just my thinking. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong but it’s just my opinion so don’t shoot me down. It’s OK if you don’t agree or feel differently. Relationships are hard work. Some may say that marriages are even harder work. Even when you’re marrying your best friend, your soulmate or your ‘one and only’, life throws it’s challenges and disagreements. There’s no such thing as an ‘easy marriage’ or a marriage where neither couple have to ‘try’. No matter how perfect you are together as a couple, you have to be working at a marriage all the time so that you grow together. Perhaps one of the wisest things I’ve ever read about relationships and love is this:
Love is a choice. When you hit a bump, that’s the time to stop and say to yourself, ‘love is a choice. I made a conscious choice to love this person and despite me now not agreeing with everything they say or do, because I love this person, we can resolve any problem we face together.’ If you look at love this way then nothing can stop you.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not against marriage or indeed trying to put anyone off it. Marriage can be the most beautiful and fulfilling act you’ll ever make. After all, who wouldn’t want to grow old with their best friend?! Knowing that you’ll always have a hand to hold through the sad times, a cheerleader by your side when you’re doubting yourself and someone you can have a good, old belly laugh with when you’re sharing the fun times. Marriage can be magical…at times…and at times, it can be challenging. However, if you’re both prepared to work at it together and accept that it’s ok for it not to be ‘perfect’ all the time, then you can have the best marriage on the planet.
You don’t marry the person you can live with you marry the person you can’t live without.
~James C Dobson~
I recently went to France to visit some friends who were celebrating their 5 year wedding anniversary. Every year their friends and family come together to celebrate with them. To remember the day they got married…the happiest day of their lives and again be surrounded by all that love and support from all the people that mean so much to their lives. It was a such a heart-warming event and I felt privileged to be invited into this special celebration.
Everyone got involved; putting up bunting, pontoon lights, candles, laying out the tables and decorating them with fresh, cut roses straight from the garden. Friends and family brought cakes, homemade treats, picnic blankets and garden games. Everyone came together to make it the special day that it was.
Whilst I stood in the garden listening to the record player playing Duke and Ella I thought to myself, this is what marriage is about. Marriage isn’t a one day celebration. It isn’t just about two people making vows to each other on their wedding day. Marriage is about all those people around you that wrap you both up in their love. The people who help you create those happy, forever life memories together as a couple. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate marriage then with friends who bring a love and richness into your marriage.
I’d love to know your thoughts.
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read my blog.